Personal Life

Chasing my 40th Autumn, had been a challenging-driven sort a life, run more by the passion of surviving rather than the joy of living. A fully-blossom childhood nipped in it's bud by the gory demise of our Father who had bin the driving force of our well-knit family. Mother, who had her own eclipses of literacy and the shadows of little common-sense filled kinda companionship which led her no where after that incident, losing out on both the battles of an early widowdom and the wars of the bringing up of 3 young children. All of this, confused her beyond belief and imagination. Led herself to self-destruction and devastation losing out controls on the reins of maturing children, drifted into the idiosyncracies of an hallucination-driven versions of irruptability, kept herself so low and away from family and friends that she faded into her own devildom. Never a kind word after that was heard by us three, never a soothing touch, nor a caress inviting us to explore the world of love and affection. Not only this led us to inamicability but also destroyed the rising innocense in it's mound. An important part of any family which is love and trust, truth and simple honesties, lots of laughter and unending joy are something which have bin a part of only our dreams which we dared to dream.....but as a rarity. Complexed, kindled, lost-out, left behind, uncared for, unloved by, no more of those sun-filled mornings, no more of that sureties of a smooth day or night.....the extremisms of what is called .....LIFE....had taken it's toll on us in a form of unending sorcerism, and anachrism, which led to an incredible epic of a childhood lost and assasinated by whatever.....but left an amazing mark of it's cruelty on our memory-driven youth. Destinations hazy, distances quadrupled, crisis mounting, image having lost itself to the stubbornness of the daily demands, found ourselves in a strange world of reckoning. No more had those sweet and sullen hands ever known to have faced a wrath of any evil or kind of mourning which have become inevitabiities of this forlorn truth called................LIFE.

Chased away from that childhood dream called education, books, niceties, fun n frolic, friends and games, those fights and arguments, that cribbings for an extra morsel of sweetmeat, those hugs n kisses, that everflowing love n affection, all had suddenly defined themselves into a thick and crystal clear mirage...making a mockery of what was once a glory-filled family. Never a question asked, not a frown on our faces, no single day without a hearty laugh, none of us having to ever explain our actions, nothing went wrong at all in all those years, storing enough supplies of oxygen-filled future, took only a needle to burst all that confidence into eternity with a prick which we never knew will last so long as the memories to be pasted on to our posterity. Lambasted and lead from out of the darkness, the necessities of the ever-flowing day-to-day life and on the ever-growing pressure of unexplainable youth, sniping at each other had left their impact so strong that ethics and civilized thought process had both become antiques for observation alone. Singularity, insanity, unwelcome simplicities, suttle relationships, string-driven cacophonies, ohhh! the satan called LIFE kept living it's share never to be tired, never to be forgotten, always gate-crashing, kept itself so lighted up that the small unseen threads of love , lust and loathesomeness buried the beauty of youth and adolescence under a deep pit of agony and apathy.

posted by S.R.Cherukuri at 1:03 PM 0 comments